Life Today

Hmmmm.....I am learning some hard lessons on this path I've chosen. Sometimes I wonder if I'm fooling myself and the path chose me and is playing with me as life often has. All I can say about
that is whatever has come my way has always given me more to ponder, to let go of and to choose to continue along the path less traveled.

I have a friend, one I have cared for so much that he became another son. He's been ignoring me and promises he made to me that involves an exchange of a car and his payment thereof. I gave him the car, but apparently he feels that my care for him means that he doesn't really have to pay for it. My comment about this sort of thing (which has happened to me too many times in the past...guess I need to learn something about this particular lesson?) is that apparently the person on the receiving end of these transactions must have a greater need than I do; ultimately I let it go and continue on my way ( sometimes a bit more bitter than I'd like to be).

Then I have a client..a 13 year old who has bi-polar and some developmental issues. Very, very bright with a vocabulary that would challenge a physics college professor. Very timid. Few friends. Few social skills. The past two weeks her school has received bomb threats and she's scared - understandably - and she's in such a fragile condition that my heart breaks for her. The bi-polar issue is pretty much under control with medication, fortunately. She's beginning to develop physically and is becoming interested in boys, but her mother (a basically very good person [also with bi-polar] has long talked with her about what it's like to become a woman and to have any kind of relationship with boys and none of it presented as a good thing. She can't talk with her mother about her developing interests and feels guilty about talking with me because she feels she's betraying her mother.

Throw in a few family issues, disability issues of my partner and the too slow arrival of Spring and you have a sage in some turmoil - I think that's an oxymoron. :)

Then there's the physical weakness of old age and the results of a motorcycle accident that rides my back like an ever clinging, frightened of abandonment monkey and I wonder what my world is coming to. Then I remind myself that I'm a sage and have gone through this much and more over the years and always have found the end result a shining star in my eternal optimism. Sometimes, however, particularly in the middle of challenges, I feel so vulnerable and inept. I wonder where my sagely wisdom has gone. Maybe this time it will leave and never come back.
A good thing about the pain in my shoulder and neck is that it keeps me slowed down enough to have to sit with heat or ice and then I can more easily put my life in perspective and come up with some possible applications to life's annoying and frustrating messes.

So there's a bit of the very human side of me that keeps me humble. Humble enough to ask that my readers take a moment to send me light and love and strength. Guess maybe those would help until I get out from under the clutter. :-)

Give yourself time to find your inner voice today my friends. I know I need to work at shutting down the mind chatter and maybe you do too. Nemaste.

Philosophy, Relativity and Reality

Posting blogs means that you open your heart and mind so that others may see you ( and sometimes the reader themselves) more clearly. The ideas I express here are a result of much introspection that may have gone on at length at some other time in my life or may be very current and still under development. My journey at this point in my life is a spiritual one (not religious in any sense). I am seeking to know myself, my inner self, better; to explore what I truly believe and what I commit myself to in terms of my inner journey.

The human mind is very active in the world arena. Check the headlines of any newspaper, TV news, ads that draw us to consider how to make our lives more fun or easier or better than anyone elses and you will find a plethora of outlets and fulfillment opportunities. There are a great number of people who, seeing or hearing about all the alternatives, realize that there is an urgency to look at life differently, to explore the ways they function in the world and know that there is a great need for a shift in consciousness before humanity and the world cease to exist as we know it. Many have acknowledged this need and have given themselves to a new way of thinking about and experiencing life. I should clarify what I mean by "thinking". Indeed, thinking is not a main component of the rising case for a new awareness of the inner self, for the awareness of conscious living. We all have all the answers we want or need to our deepest questions within ourselves but our minds are making too much noise to be able to hear them. And so we buy into the world's offers because it's easier for so many.

All this to say that what I write in my blogs is my own experience and belief, and may be best considered as a philosophical challenge for your own growth, or considered as so much mumbo jumbo, as Time Magazine found the contents of Ekhart Tolle's, POWER OF NO, I certainly don't expect that my truth is your truth, nor do I judge your path. I am a sage and as such have discovered much about life that might help others. I share what I do because I am lead to do so by a deeper part of myself than I have ever known and would hope you will also find that depth in yourself by whatever means you find.

I wish you happiness and peace on your path today. Nemaste my friends.

Dulcinea

Sleepwalking

This world (RL) invites us, quite surreptitiously, to become mundane, archaic, numb, blind and deaf as a way to survive all the glamour and promises it has to offer. Without knowing, most of us have accepted the invitation. Without awareness, conscious awareness of our senses, moments fly by, days melt from one to the other and one night follows another without any sense of meaning or satisfaction. We spend our time in front of televisions, game boys, sports events, filling our minds with a craziness that feeds on itself and sucks the blood from our numb bodies and minds.

Just as a bank account has a balance, so does the number of our days and spending them in useless, non-conscious ways is the ultimate waste. Our time is precious. What we choose to be aware of matters.

TV programs, soaps, commercials, offers of free trips are not real. They are not life. They don't feed our soul nor do they deepen our relationship to authenticity. Our birthright is wakeful purpose and wonder. The only way to inner satisfaction is conscious awareness...valuable, wakeful experiences.

I wish you wakefulness, conscious awareness of your choices and a deeper sense of self and satisfaction.

Nemaste my friends. I have missed being here. Consciously or unconsiously, life seems to happen while I'm doing other things.